I told my boyfriend that he's beautiful.
It wasn't the first time, and it certainly won't be the last.
Sometimes, I buy him flowers. When I have the money, I'll take him out to eat on my bill. More often, though, I'll cook dinner at home for him. Usually, he helps, and we sit and enjoy the meal we made together, as equals.
Because that's what we are; equals.
He tells me I'm beautiful. Sometimes, he buys me flowers. When he has money, he takes me out to eat on his bill. More often, though, he cooks dinner at home for me. Usually, I help.
See how those phrases work both ways? Why is it that we expect men to do the complementing, the gift-giving, the paying for meals? And why is it that it's cute when he cooks for me, and oppressive when I cook for him? Isn't a relationship supposed to be built on equality? It's a give and take. Not one giving, and the other taking.
If I ever expect him to do something for me, I set the precedent by doing it for him. And he does the same with me. Or, we ask the other person to fill whatever need we need of them. If I want my feet rubbed, I'll offer to rub his feet, and ask him to rub mine at the same time. (Even though he has gross man-feet. It's okay, though: I do it because I love him.)
I think us women need to step up in relationships and stop expecting men to hand everything to us. It's a phrase we've all heard ten thousand times, especially if you're from the south like me: treat others how you want to be treated. That doesn't stop when you become a couple.
I shouldn't be criticized for telling my boyfriend he's beautiful. He is. And he, as well as all the men in our lives deserve to hear that.
Men, you are beautiful.
You hear me? You are beautiful.
And don't be ashamed of that.
It doesn't make you less masculine, because beauty isn't always effeminate.
But that's another rant, for another day.